There’s a question that every person must know: What kind of person do you want to become? You should focus on who you want to become, over what you want to have. If you do, you’ll have a much clearer idea for your future.
“Our choices shape who we are and who we will become.”
Who do you want to be? I’m not asking who you are now or what kind of life you want to have, but what kind of person do you want to be?
Living that vision of our highest self, the “who” we want to be, is not impossible to achieve. In fact, you can be that person today if you first take a moment to step back and sketch out a character study for the “who” you want to be.
Here are some very simple exercises to help you define this vision for your ideal self:
1. Sit down with paper and pen
…and write down the qualities of this person, this new you. For example, I want to be a person who lives mindfully, who practice self-care and self-love daily, someone who dresses up nicely every day and feel fabulous and more.
2. Dig a little deeper and write some examples
…of how and when you will become this person. For example, as a mindful person, I will practise mindfulness and appreciate living in the moment, schedule time daily to practise self-care and self-love, create a wardrobe with clothes I love and wear them daily etc. Find the places where you are farthest from your ideal, and specifically define the actions that you aspire to.
3. Play the part of the character
…until it becomes natural for you. If you must pretend at first, then do it. Act as if. Yes, it will feel false at first, but with practice, you will transform.
4. Rehearse daily and be a creator, not a reactor.
Now that you have a character study of your ideal self, continue to create this person every day. You are the author of your life and your behaviour. Don’t give away your vision just to defend your ego. It’s never worth it. Don’t let your initial reactions undermine your new creation. Revisit your character study regularly as a reminder of the role model you have created for yourself.
5. You can always revise and re-write your ideal self.
Because we are human, we fail and falter at being the who we want to be. But every day we have the opportunity for a revision. We can correct our course and step back into our ideal self. And along the way, we might want to adjust our vision to accommodate our personal evolution. As we change and grow, we may want to expand our self-character study, adding more dimension, subtlety, and flexibility.
Write the story of who you want to be. Create a character who could be a role model for others. Define the actions, responses, and values of this person. Then go live it. Before you know it, that new who will be you.
Go deeper, do the exercise from ‘Learning to be Yourself‘