Have you had a clarifying moment when you realised that the life you are living is no longer the life you want for yourself? This is where I currently am – I’ve outgrown a version of myself and am ready to embrace & enter the new version. I’ve been feeling some big changes over the past 6 months, some of them being:
- Moving Home (downsized from a 2-bed apartment to a 1-bed lofts apartment)
- Becoming an empty-nester (Khushi moved to Norway for a year last month and this is the first time in my entire life I’ve been living alone)
- I entered Peri-Menopause last year but got confirmed by the GP end of March this year
Maybe you are going through some changes too? Like making sacrifices for a career that no longer seems worth it, or you are in a relationship that no longer makes sense, or maybe you can’t pinpoint exactly what it is… You just know deep in your heart that you need a change. You need to figure out how to rebuild your life so that it reflects who you are now. If you are ready to start living a more intentional life that you want to be present for, then this post is for you.
The below five tips on how to start over in life will help you become the best version of yourself – these are the exact steps I took when I felt that soul-stirring need for a mid-life fresh start. Take it from me, it’s never too late for a new beginning.
1. What do you actually want for the next phase of your life?
The first step to rebuilding your life is to know what you actually want. Feeling unsettled or unhappy may have been the reason you wanted to rebuild your life in the first place, but you need to give yourself time to think and reflect on what you want your new life to look like.
Start journaling your thoughts and ask yourself what you actually want to accomplish in your lifetime. Practice mindfulness. Notice what thoughts bring you peace or excitement. Get to know who you are now and get excited about who you are becoming.
2. What are your core values?
Your personal core values are what will guide you through every decision you make and help you feel confident in your choices.
“Values are attributes of the person you want to be.”~ Nir Eyal
Figure out your top 4-5 core values that are most important to you. Examples might be balance, alive, grounded, intentional, or simple, among hundreds of options. Your values are as unique as you are. Let these values guide you. When you know what you value, you can live in accordance with those values.
3. Simplify & Organise your life
Either physical or mental, decluttering is a vital part of starting over. Get rid of everything you don’t want to take with you into your new life. Negative mindset, toxic relationships, clothes that don’t fit, outdated make-up and so on.
LET GO OF EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT SERVE A PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE.
By organising your space and getting rid of excess, you’re making physical space and mental space for a new life.
4. Let go of old beliefs & thoughts
Now that you’re done with decluttering, it’s time to practice letting go. Let go of all the negative and limiting beliefs that you tell yourself or believe when others tell them to you.
When a negative thought or belief about yourself pops into your mind, talk back. Replace that negative thought with a new one. For example, if you hear “No one could love me if they really knew me,” try “My past has made me stronger and kinder and more compassionate. I am worth getting to know and worthy of love.”
5. Practice forgiveness and gratitude.
When starting a new chapter, you will likely find that guilt may try to follow you into your new life. We can rarely close a chapter of our lives without wondering if we could have done something different or without having to face realities that people were unavoidably hurt by the change.
Fresh starts aren’t always easy, but try not to carry that negativity with you into your new life. It is an excellent time to forgive yourself for your mistakes and to forgive others for theirs when you are starting over.
Also, be thankful for all the life lessons and future insights. Forgiveness and gratitude are the two most powerful weapons that will help you reboot your life.
In the end, awareness is the key to change. Be proud of yourself for knowing that your life needs the shift and recognising that you’re ready for it.
Starting over can feel intimidating, but with the right mindset and a good plan for how to restart your life, you are on your way to building a life that serves you well. You’ve got this.