Do you feel guilty when practising self-love & self-care?

When I take time out for myself or do something for myself, I feel guilty. I always feel like I should be working more on my business and spend quality time with Khushi (or use the money I want to use on myself on Khushi or save it for our future). Do you get this feeling sometimes?

Working from home, I am literally ‘stuck’ at home every day – don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my home – it’s my sanctuary, My Happy Place. But sometimes I just long for a change. Does it make any sense?

I am all for promoting the importance of Self-Love & Self-Care to my clients, friends & family and as a Lifestyle Coach and a Mum, I should practice what I preach and live by example, but that doesn’t always happen and I am still teaching myself that I am more than worthy of treating myself – to experiences that make me feel alive, being excited, live with intention and more.

“Self-care is essential and non-negotiable.”

How can I overcome guilt? I am sure you know that guilt is a common feeling for women, regardless if they work outside the home or not. As women, we often let guilt control what we do. We become controlled by what we are “supposed” to do, instead of embracing the fact that it’s OK not to finish everything on your to-do list and just take a break.

In my case, it’s to sit down with a cup of Earl Grey and a slice of cake while watching ‘Sex and the City’. At the end of the day; My wellness does come first!

“Never let anyone make you guilty for taking care of yourself.”

Here are my top tips on how to deal with guilt (remember, I am still learning too):

1. Give yourself permission that YOU and your needs are ESSENTIAL.
2. Share your needs with your partner or best friend (in my case it’s Khushi) so they can help keep you accountable for making time for your passions.
3. Make the time – schedule it in your daily planner/smartphone as you would schedule any other important event.
4. TAKE ACTION! Don’t just think about it, plan it and schedule it, BUT just DO IT!
5. Practice doing it again – Making yourself a priority! Make time for your needs and passions over other so-called important tasks on your to-do list.

REMEMBER: Nothing and no one is more important than yourself.

To summarise what you want to get done, here’s a checklist…It’s everything I know but just
take it one step at a time. Check off what you’ve done and move on to the next. Doing even
just one of these will get you results. Imagine what will happen when you do several, and
then all of them!

RESET YOUR PRIORITIES

1. Prioritise my self-care – it is a necessity not a luxury!
2. Identify what I need to be at my best and “full”
3. Define what balance looks like for my life
4. Assess my level of satisfaction for the key areas of life
5. Identify my unique desired vision of balance in my life
6. Identify what I need to say “No” to for greater balance
7. Clear the decks
8. Eliminate time wasters
9. Create an ideal schedule
10. Commit to specific business hours
11. Set one business development day per month
12. Set and enforce boundaries
    ENGAGE YOUR BIGGER PURPOSE
13. Identify my unique purpose
14. Connect to my bigger picture
15. Select one or two ways to regularly connect with my authentic self
16. Identify my spiritual gifts
17. Answer the call knowing I’ll be “qualified”
18. Uncover the impacts I make on the world around me
19. Create a metaphor for my Life Purpose Statement (LPS)
20. Find a representation of my LPS & post it prominently
21. Find new ways to express my LPS in daily life
22. Identify my core values
23. Define and rank my top 10 – 12 core values
24. Create a vision board
25. SEE A HIGHER VISION
26. Get in touch with my best self
27. Write out my 3 year vision
28. Define what it will be like to achieve my 3 year vision
29. Create a vision board
    UPGRADE YOUR MINDSET AND UNDO GUILT
30. Identify what it is I’m tolerating
31. Put a plan together to begin eliminating tolerations
32. Change what’s consuming me
33. Identify self-sabotaging beliefs & fears
34. Identify strategies to change the tune of my inner critical parent
35. Setup structures to help make the changes I desire
36. Create affirmations that empower me toward my goal
37. Handle any un-forgiveness in my life
38. Eliminate excuses
39. Make a decision about what I WILL do
40. Identify the primary sources of guilt in my life
41. Choose 2 or 3 strategies to reduce stress and guilt
42. HAVE FUN! It’s a key to success!
    LAY YOUR PATH
43. Get high level mentoring
44. Join high level masterminding or coaching group
45. Mind map
46. Set values-based SMART goals
47. Align my goals with my values and purpose
48. Create a belief narrative
49. Inventory whatI have and need to reach my goals
50. Fill the gaps
51. Create a strategic realistic plan
52. Break the larger goals into smaller projects
53. Document an action plan for each key project
54. Determine mile markers along the way
55. Create compelling marketing plan for business growth
56. Establish a backup/alternative plan
57. TAKE CONSISTENT AND PERSISTENT ACTION
58. Determine Key Performance Indicators (KPI’s)
59. Create tracking mechanism for KPI’s
60. Execute my plan and adjust as needed
61. Be accountable to someone who is not emotionally or financially tied to my success
62. Identify & implement habits for ongoing success
63. Identify potential obstacles
64. Create ways to mitigate obstacles or potential problems
65. Regularly review KIP’s & assess my plan and progress to ensure I’m doing productive
    work vs. busywork
    SYSTEMIZE YOUR BUSINESS
66. Create my business Operations Manual & document my standard Operating Procedures
67. Build my support team (VA / Assistant / Interns)
68. Delegate effectively
69. Celebrate milestones & successes along the way
70. Repeat as needed