For many people, their level of confidence shifts depending on what’s going on around them. In certain conditions, there is a feeling of confidence but in others, they feel discomfort – shyness, self-judgment, fear, unworthiness, or uselessness – these are all external types of confidence.
What is Core Confidence you ask?
CORE CONFIDENCE comes from within and is not reliant upon outside sources.
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Below are my top 5 steps to getting started building up your Core Confidence:
Practice Self-Love & Self-Care – EVERY DAY!
While this might seem obvious, this can change our self-esteem, it really does have a positive psychological effect. There is the truth is that if we look good, we feel good.
What we are really doing is helping to improve our self-image. Getting up each day to take a shower and fix ourselves up, makes us feel better about how we look. When we feel better about this foundation, we feel more capable of tackling the day. This, of course, is an area that others notice right away, and that we will get immediate feedback on.
Acknowledging your accomplishments
By not recognising your accomplishments, you’re blind to your capabilities and talents. I don’t care how small or big your accomplishments are because size doesn’t matter. All that matters is you take the time to write down your accomplishments 1 by 1. Whether they were in the past, present, small or huge.
Do this often enough and you’ll be consciously aware of all that you’re capable of, how great you are and how worthy you are as a human being. So be proud and take pride in the things you do. Your self-confidence will thank you for it!
Live in the Moment
When we live in the moment we are only concerned with what is presented to us right then and there. There is no room for worry or self-judgment, only action. When we are in action we are confident – we have made a choice and are acting on it, this is what confidence is – the ability to take action. As soon as we slip into worry or judgment we’re no longer living in the moment. Worry comes from a fear of what might happen not what is actually happening now.
Judgment often comes from reliving an idea or circumstance (past) and making a commentary on it or comparing our past actions to those of someone else. If you find yourself worrying or judging yourself, shift gears. Do YOUR best, at the moment with what you have – that’s all we can do. Stay present and focus on what’s here, what do you have to offer? Use it.
Learning from the past
Shame and negative self-talk are the enemies of confidence. When we are demoralized, we cannot access confidence. We all do things that we wish we’d done differently. But when we get caught in self-judgment and relive situations it amplifies negative thinking and creates negative and/or anxious feelings.
Continuing to replay an incident means there is something we need to accept in order to move on. Maybe you need to accept that you are human and fallible or perhaps the lesson is about standing up for yourself — connecting with confidence so that next time you can say or do the things that will make you feel good about yourself. When you find yourself obsessing about a past incident:
- STOP the instant replay.
- Pick one small lesson from that experience….just one thing that you will do differently next time.
- Thank yourself for the lesson and breathe in self-compassion, giving yourself the courage to do that one thing differently next time.
It takes practice, but the more you do it, the easier it will be and before you know it…you’ll be feeling more and more confident inside!
Set small and manageable goals for yourself
We are all guilty of feeling anxious and overwhelmed when we think of a goal in its entirety. If we break our goals down into small and manageable tasks, they do not feel as daunting, and we feel as if we are making progress towards them at all times.
- Feeling like we are making progress and are being effective, is an incredible confidence booster.
- A good way to break things down is to think of goals or projects like a ladder.
- Put the ultimate goal or project at the top.
- Make the small and manageable steps rungs of the ladder.
- You have the mental image of climbing the ladder towards your goal each time you complete a task.
So what do you need to take away from this?
Firstly; Write down who you are and who you want to be. (What is your core identity?) and then challenge yourself in all 7 areas (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, wealth, legacy and energy).
Feel free to sign up to my Friday Morning Love Note HERE! This isn’t just a newsletter - it’s your invitation to pause, reflect, and realign with you. Every week, we’ll journey together to uncover the small, meaningful shifts that will help you design a life that feels uniquely and beautifully yours. Each week, I’ll deliver fresh intentions, uplifting tips, and simple shifts to inspire purposeful, creative living.
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